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Fair and Square is a song from The Cheating Scales of Bullamanka

Lyrics

Kevin: I am...

(Kevin starts too early. Fidgel plays slow slide guitar as Kevin sings mournfully)

I am aware...

Other three: He is aware...

Kevin: That you don't play fair...

Other three: Cheater, cheater, cheater, cheat

Kevin: That nevous grin...

Other three: Think you're charming, think you're neat

Kevin: That scaly skin...

Other three: Scaly hands and scaly feet

Kevin: I just can't bare...

Other three: You can see it on his face

Kevin: I'm in despare...

Other three: You can tell because he frowns

Kevin: When you do that thing...

Other three: Thingy, thingy, thingy, oh!

Kevin: Like the Lizard King

Other three: The bloke who cheated in the show!

(music ramps up to fully rock-a-billy romp)

Zidgel: You say G-7's empty As you smile and bite your lip But you know From the four pegs in a row That he sank your battle ship.

Midgel: And you're tellin' her to go fish It ain't goin' like you planned Cuz the hearts That she just asked for Are beatin' in your hand.

Penguins: Ohhh! You hate to be the loser So you always gotta win


But I'm tellin' you, son


Playin' ain't no fun


With a cheatin' champ-e-in!


Yeah!


Take another look at the Good Book


God wants us to play fair

Yeah!

Winnin' is for losers Unless it's fair and square!

(cuts to the other characters dancing)

Yeah! Winnin' is for losers Unless it's fair and square!

Fidgel: You say it's Colonel Mustard In the den with the candle stick But that's not right Cuz Mrs White's In the ballroom with a brick.

Zidgel: And you move your bishop sideways, hey

So your pawn can steal my queen, ooh

(Midgel shows a sign with a image of ham)

Man, I ain't stayin' With you dirty playin' It's the worst I've ever seen!

Penguins: Ohhh! You hate to be the loser So you always gotta win But I'm tellin' you, son

Playin' ain't no fun

With a cheatin' champ-e-in!

Yeah!

Take another look at the Good Book

God wants us to play fair

Yeah! Winnin' is for losers

Unless it's fair and square!

Yeah! Winnin' is for losers

Unless it's fair and square!

Fun Facts

Trivia

  • This is the first song for 3-2-1 Penguins!

Remarks

Inside References

Real World References

  • Kevin's singing in the begging is similar to Patsy Cline (1932 - 1965), a American country singer, famous rich tone, emotionally expressive and bold contralto voice.
  • Zidgel stating about G-7 and your ship sank is mostly referring to Battleship, a game from Hasbro.
    • Fidgel mentioning Colonel Mustard and Mrs. White are characters from the board game "Cludeo" (Clue in America)

Gallery

FairAndSquare3

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