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Kilts and Stilts is the 37th Silly Songs with Larry.

Lyrics

Narrator: And now it's time for silly-

Larry the Cucumber: Hold it!

Narrator: And now it's time for silly songs with Scottish Larry. The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly Scottish song.

Scooter the Carrot (Scottish Accent): I can't tell ya how proud I am at this moment!

Larry (Allegro): I dance on stilts... While he knits quilts...

Scooter (Scottish Accent): Nice quilt!

Larry (Scottish Accent): I sing with simulated Scottish island lilt.

Scooter (Scottish Accent): Ah, beautiful!

Larry: He plays his bagpipe...

[Bagpipe]

Eats haggis smelts...

Scooter (Scottish Accent): Haggis!

Larry: We feel so smart in our red tartan Scottish kilts.

Scooter (Scottish Accent): Sing it, lad!

Larry, Jerry Gourd, Jimmy Gourd & Mr. Nezzer: In our... red tartan kilts... We feel so smart in our red tartan Scottish kilts.

Scooter (Scottish Accent): Technically you stitch a quilt, but otherwise lovely!

Jean Claude (French Accent): Top of ze mornin' to you.

Scooter (Scottish Accent, Angrily): I'll have you know that's not in Scotland!

[Rip!]

Larry (Indifferent): I dance on stilts...

Scooter (Scottish Accent, Angrily for the rest of the song): Excuse me, sir!

Larry: He stitches quilts...

Scooter (Scottish Accent for the rest of the song): What ya doin' wit a shamrock?

Larry (Irish Accent): I sing with simulated Northern Irish lilt.

Scooter: Irish?

Larry: He plays his whistle...

[Whistle]

Scooter (taken aback): What?

Larry: Eat salted smelts...

Scooter: It's not on the menu!

Larry: We feel so smart in our green tartan Irish kilts.

Scooter: I've got nothing against me! Irish-

Larry, Jerry, Jimmy & Nezzer: In our... green tartan kilts... We feel so smart in our green tartan Irish kilts...

Scooter: But this is a Scottish song!

Jean Claude (French Accent): Cheep-Cheep-Cheerio!

[Rip!]

Scooter (muffled by the thrown kilt at his face): Ugh!

Larry: I dance on stilts... He stitches quilts...

Scooter: WHAT ARE YA DOIN'?

Larry (English Accent): I sing with simulated English Cortney lilt.

Scooter: ENGLISH??

[Boomp]

Larry: He plays his trumpet...

[Trumpet]

Scooter (desperately): Ugh!

Larry: Eats crumpet melts...

Scooter: Gimme that crumpet!

Larry, Jerry, Jimmy & Nezzer: We feel so smart in our St. George's English Kilts.

Scooter: Well ya shouldn't!

Larry, Jerry, Jimmy & Nezzer: In our, St. George's kilts...

Scooter: No! Wait!

Larry, Jerry, Jimmy & Nezzer: We feel so smart in-

Scooter (Briefly): No!

Larry, Jerry, Jimmy & Nezzer: -our St. George's English kilts.

Scooter: Oh!

Jean Claude (French Accent): Howdy y'all!

Scooter: Stop it you! You're ruining me moment!

(Accelerando)

Larry: I dance on stilts... He stitches quilts...

Scooter: AMERICAN?

Larry: I sing with ordinary unaccented lilt.

Scooter: Oh! Oh! I'm feeling dizzy!

Larry: He plays his banjo...

[Banjo]

Eats cheddar melts...

Scooter: Oh, I'm break ya know!

Larry, Jerry, Jimmy & Nezzer: We feel so smart in our star-spangled striped kilts.

Scooter: Stop it!

Larry, Jerry, Jimmy & Nezzer: In our... star-spangled kilts...

Scooter: Stop that!

Larry, Jerry, Jimmy & Nezzer: We feel so smart in our star-spangled striped kilts.

Scooter (moaning): Uh!

Narrator: This has been silly songs with Scottish Larry. Tune in next time to hear Larry say:

Larry (joyfully): Just get him some scotch tape and butterscotch. He'll be fine!

Scooter: Oh, my Bonnie lies over the ocean!

Fun Facts

  • Scooter gets offended on Jerry eating a crumpet, even though it's also a Scottish food. However, it's most likely because the Scottish types are different from the English ones.

Gallery

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