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Larry's Christmas Countdown

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Larry'sChristmasCountdown

Larry's Christmas Countdown is a interactive Advent calendar that's part of the official website.

Each day of December, Larry would give some either advice or thoughts on Christmas.

Transcript

And now it’s time for Larry’s Christmas Countdown, the part of the website where Larry comes out and counts down.

  • Only 24 Days left until Christmas! The great thing about owning an artificial Christmas tree is that every year it’s like putting together a puzzle you’ve never seen before in your whole life.
  • Only 23 Days left before Christmas! Fa la la la la la la la la!
  • Only 22 Days left before Christmas! Nothing says Christmas more than a big sign that says Christmas!
  • Only 21 Days left till Christmas! I hold this truth to be self-evident, not all plastic Santa’s are created equal!
  • 20 Days and then it’ll be Christmas! If he makes you cry, he’s probably not the REAL Santa.
  • Only 19 Day till Christmas! There’s a fine line between a Christmas wreath and a bunch of dead clippings tied in a circle. I think it’s the red bow that makes the difference.
  • Only 18 Days! Then it’ll be Christmas! Bowling balls make lousy tree ornaments. *thud* Very lousy.
  • 17 Days till Christmas! Almost anything rolled in glue and glitter makes a great Christmas tree ornament. Except possibly cats. *meow*
  • Only 16 Days left before Christmas! Never use a chainsaw to carve a turkey, no matter how big it is.
  • In 15 Days it’ll be Christmas! A thought for your holiday open house, in some cultures a nut encrusted cheese ball is considered a weapon.
  • 14 Days before Christmas! If your Christmas tree is too tall it’s a lot easier to trim off the top than the bottom, which is okay if you don’t mind a Christmas tree that’s shaped like a trapezoid.
  • 13 Days! Then comes Christmas! When you hear a bell choir here’s something to think about, that little ringer inside the bell that makes the ring is called a clapper. Go figure.
  • Only 12 Days before Christmas! It’s hard to know when cranberries have gone bad because they always taste like that.
  • Only 11 Days before Christmas! When you’re working on Christmas presents that require assembly remember this: Duct tape takes over where skill leaves off.
  • 10 Days and then Christmas! If you run out of eggnog, Dutch Boy Interior Latex is a nice substitute.
  • Only 9 Days left until Christmas! Fruitcake, it’s a gift that never goes away… never!
  • Hey! In 8 Days it’s gonna be Christmas! Don’t ruin the mood at your church’s nativity by yelling “Hey! That’s no Angel! That’s my Sunday school teacher wearing a bed sheet!"
  • Only 7 Day’s till Christmas! You know you’ve got too many Christmas lights on your house when planes start trying to land in your driveway.
  • Only 6 Days till Christmas! When making garlands for your Christmas tree it’s much easier to string popcorn if you pop it first. Much easier.
  • Whoa! Only 5 Days till Christmas! In some cities there may be laws against going A-Wassailing so check your local codes before you wassail.
  • 4 Days left until Christmas! A good rule of thumb, it shouldn’t take you longer to wrap a present than it did to buy it.
  • There’s only 3 Days till Christmas! I don’t care how many times I hear it, the word eggnog sounds like a medical problem like “Ooo! He’s got a bad case of eggnog!”
  • In 2 Days it’s gonna be Christmas! Remember to always wear protective head gear when joining in any reindeer games.
  • Woo hoo! Tomorrow’s Christmas! If you find a jolly old guy in your house with a sack full of stuff on Christmas Eve, ask to see some ID. You can never be too careful

This has been Larry’s Christmas Countdown. Tune in tomorrow for another Christmas thought.

Fun Facts

Explanations

  • Wassailing is a type of practice on singing Christmas carols.

Real-World References

  • Dutch Boy is a paint company formed in Cleveland, Ohio.

External links

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