Stuff-Mart Suite (also known as the Salesmunz Rap) is the second song from Madame Blueberry.


Salesman #1: Allow us to introduce our selves,

We're neighbors

Salesman #2: We moved in down the street!

Salesman #1: Some say we're the most delightful bunch of fellows

Salesman #3: You'll ever want to meet!

Salesman #1: And if you have a moment to spare

Kind lady with beauty so... rare

We'd like to take a minute or two

On a topic of interest to you

Salesmen: We represent the Stuff Mart

Salesman #2: An enormous land of goodies

Salesman #1: Would you mind if we stepped in, please?

Salesmen: And as associates of the Stuff Mart

Salesman #1: It looks like you could use some stuff!

I pray that you won't take this wrong, my dear

But initial observation is as follows:

The criminal responsible for this decor

Really should be hanging from the gallows!

(Madame Blueberry cries)

Salesmen: We represent the Stuff Mart

Salesman #2: A magic land of retail

Salesman #3: Would you care to see what's on sale?

Salesmen: Then as a customer of the Stuff Mart

Get ready for some real nice stuff!

(music changes to a rap)

Salesman #2 and #3: Check it out! Check it out!

Salesman #1: If you want a big hat

Salesman #2 and #3: We got that!

Salesman #1: If you need a tube of glue

Salesman #2 and #3: We got that too!

Salesman #1: A 20 gallon wok?

Salesman #2 and #3: They're in stock!

And if you need refrigerators

To keep extra mashed potatoes

Or a giant air compressor

To blow fruit flies off your dresser

Or a dehydrated strudel

Or a nose ring for your poodle

Or a five pound can of tuna

And some flippers to go scuba

Scuba! Scuba! Scooby-doo-be-doo-ba!

Here we go, scuba! Come on!

Salesman #1: If you need a rubber hose

Salesman #2 and #3: We got those!

Salesman #1: A rhododendron tree

Salesman #2 and #3: We got three!

Salesman #1: A wrap-around deck

Salesman #2 and #3: Gotta check!

But if you need a window scraper

And a gross of toilet paper

Or a rachet set and pliers

And surround sound amplifiers

And a solar turkey chopper

Or a padded gopher bopper

Flannel shirts for looking grungy

And some rope for goin' bunji

Bunji! Bunji! Bunji-wun-gee-fun-gee!

Here we go, bunji! Come on!

(music changes back to normal)

Salesman #1: What we've mentioned are only just some

Salesman #2: Of the wonderful things yet to come

Salesman #1: These pictures you keep are so... Nice

Salesman #3: But you really should take our advice

Salesman #1: Happiness waits at the Stuff Mart!

Salesmen: All you need is lots... More... Stuff!

Madame Blueberry: So if I buy more things… that will make me happy?

(Salesmen nods heads, while Blueberry looks at Bob and Larry. Larry shrugs, while Bob is displeased)

Bob: I don’t think that’s true.

(Gets close to Bob, and starts arguing)

Salesmen #1: Yes it is.

Bob: No it's not.

(They both starting yanking Blueberry's purse, with her pulling her purse back)

Salesmen #1: Yes it is.

Bob: No it's not!

Salesmen #1: Yes it is!

(The purse flies out of their grips, and lands in front of the other two Salesmen, with a lipstick rolling out)

Salesman #2 and #3: You really, really ought to!

Madame: How could I afford not to?

Salesman #1: Now you got it!

Bob: Oh, great.

Salesman #1: Happiness waits at the Stuff Mart!

Salesmen: All you need is lots... More... Stuff!



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