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This is an episode transcript for The Rich Young Comic Ruler.

Transcript

(Scene opens at Pa Grape's Store, where Bob and Larry are doing some shopping. Larry takes some random items off the shelf and throws them in the cart.)

Larry: Ah. We need this, we need this.

Bob: Larry, slow down.

Larry: No, way. I gotta get this boring food shopping out of the way so we can get to the good stuff: buying comics.

(Larry throws more items into the cart, as Bob takes them out and puts them back on the shelves again. Larry still throws more items into the cart, while Bob puts them back on the shelves.)

Larry: We need this, we need this. That should do it. Hey!

(Larry is shocked to see the now-empty cart.)

Bob: Larry, we don't need 26 different breakfast cereals!

Larry: Fine! Deny me my Chocolate-blasted Sugar Crisples. See if I care. Now, on to the comics.

(Larry quickly jumps to the front of the store, just as Pa gives two comics to two corn kids.)

Pa: Those are the only comics we have. I'm so sorry.

Corn Boy: Okay. Ugh. All I could buy was a lame math comic. What comic did you get?

Corn Girl: Gary, the Incredibly Bland Grey Rock.

(The two corn kids sigh sadly as they leave the store, while Bob and Larry can only feel sorry for them.)

Bob: That is so sad.

Larry: You know what this town needs? Some kind of a place where you can check out books, read them and return them, but with comics. I'll call it a library! A comic library.

Bob: That's actually not a bad idea. Maybe we can talk to Mayor Archibald about getting some comics for our town library.

Larry: Mayor Archibald? Yeah, right. Like he'd ever do something cool like that. I mean, have you seen how he dresses? (Archibald comes up behind Larry) That bow tie is so old. It's like he was born in 1973 or something and then took a time machine back to 1812 just so he could be even older. If he was here right now, I'd give him a piece of my mind.

Archibald: (clears throat)

Larry: Hmm? (turns around to see Archibald) Aah! (screaming)

Archibald: You were saying?

Larry: Mayor Archibald, I think it's a travesty that there's no comic book section in the library. I'm in hysterics.

Archibald: I would love to fill it with comics, but we just don't have the money.

(The sound of Rooney barking is heard, as Archibald looks to see Ichabeezer and Rooney coming up to the counter, at the same time that Laura is standing in front of the counter too.)

Archibald: Maybe if you could convince a certain citizen walking his olive dog to donate.

Larry: Laura Carrot?

Archibald: Ichabeezer!

(Bob and Larry quickly rush out the door of the store and spin around Ichabeezer, which leaves him a bit dizzy, before coming up in front of him.)

Larry: How's my favorite Ichi-Wicki-Beezer-Sneezer?

Ichabeezer: Whatever you want, the answer is no.

Larry: But I don't want much.

Ichabeezer: (growls) What do you want?

Larry: Just some money to buy comic books for the library.

(Beat)

Ichabeezer: (laughing) Comic books! Lookit, I only donate money to three things: me, myself...

Larry: And I?

Ichabeezer: No. And a company that prints instruction manuals. I like a clear, informative instruction manual. So, the answer is no. Come on, Rooney.

(Ichabeezer and Rooney leave.)

Larry: If we don't get some comics, the library is doomed. Doo-oo-oo-oomed! Bob? I'm not giving up on old Beezer just yet.

(Bob and Larry leave as well, before Jean-Claude and Phillipe come out from Pa Grape's Store, having heard everything.)

Jean-Claude: Did you hear all that?

Phillipe: Oui.

Jean-Claude: What if we made our own comic books to fill the library? We'd be heroes!

Phillipe: But, Jean-Claude, we do not have the talent to make a comic book. We only have one talent: this!

(Jean-Claude and Phillipe both do acrobatic flips.)

Phillipe: Ha!

Jean-Claude: True. But I know who can help.

(Jean-Claude and Phillipe then roll away afterwards. Scene switches to Bob and Larry approaching Ichabeezer's mansion.)

Bob: So, what's the brilliant plan this time, Larry?

Larry: I'm gonna read him the story of the Rich Young Ruler. A story about a rich man who's told to give his possessions to the poor.

Bob: Well, let me know how it goes. (leaves)

(Larry rings the doorbell as Ichabeezer then answers the door.)

Larry: Ahem. "One thing you lack-"

Ichabeezer: Go away. Not listening.

(Ichabeezer closes the doors before becoming surprised to see that Larry already somehow got inside his house as he still continues reading.)

Larry: "Go and sell all your possessions and give to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven." So, what do you say, Ich? Want to donate?

Ichabeezer: For the last time... (inhales) No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Larry: Aw, come on, Ichabeezer!

(Hip-hop music starts playing.)

Larry: (singing) Your safes are stuffed

Your pants sometimes sag

So much money in your pocket

No wonder they drag

Got a room of gold

And the right to brag

That you're Ichabeezer

Mr. Moneybags

Chorus: (singing) Mr. Moneybags

Larry: (singing) Rich Ichabeezer

Chorus: (singing) Mr. Moneybags

Larry: (singing) A millionaire geezer

Chorus: (singing) Mr. Moneybags

Larry: (singing) Couldn't be richer

Chorus: (singing) Mr. Moneybags

Larry: (singing) Prove you're no penny-pincher

Stacks of money

That could reach the moon

Chorus: (singing) Mr. Moneybags

Mr. Moneybags

Larry: (singing) Gold coins piled up in every room

Chorus: (singing) Mr. Moneybags

Mr. Moneybags

Larry: (singing) Rich Ichabeezer

Chorus: (singing) Mr. Moneybags

Larry: (singing) A millionaire geezer

Chorus: (singing) Mr. Moneybags

Larry: (singing) Couldn't be richer

Chorus: (singing) Mr. Moneybags

Larry: (singing) So prove you're no penny-pincher

Here's an invitation

From the comic book nation

Hey Ichabeezer

Make a large donation

We're not asking you

To go from riches to rags

Don't hold back the greenbacks

Chorus: (singing) Mr. Moneybags, yeah

(The song ends as Larry is now standing on top of a pile of money.)

Ichabeezer: Get off my money!

(Ichabeezer pulls the money pile out from under Larry as he falls to the ground.)

Larry: So, Ichabeez-knees, want to give up some of your treasure?

Ichabeezer: No.

Larry: No? No? Did you learn nothing from the story?

Ichabeezer: Yes, I did. I learned the importance of giving resources to the needy, not giving comic books to the Larrys.

Larry: So, what am I supposed to do now? Ask every comic book publisher to send me every comic ever made right to my door, no shipping and handling, if possible? Say, that's not a bad idea.

(Larry leaves after that. Scene switches to back at Bob and Larry's home, where Larry is now writing a letter to send to the comic book publishers.)

Larry: To Whom It May Concern: I would like one copy of every comic ever made. Please send it to Larry. Signed, Larry. PS: Thank you in advance. PSS: As quickly as possible, exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark... hmm... smiley face.

(Larry then rushes off after finishing his letter. Scene switches to the town square, where Jean-Claude and Phillipe are hopping through town.)

Phillipe: So, who are these mysterious comic makers you speak of?

(Jean-Claude smugly hops ahead of Phillipe before facing him again.)

Jean-Claude: You remember our cousins, yes?

Phillipe: Oui. (gasps) You don't mean...

Jean-Claude: Oui, oui. Mr. Pea.

(Two more peas then come up in front of Jean-Claude and Phillipe, knocking Phillipe aside.)

Mr. Pea: Hey! Mr. Pea!

Jean-Claude: And Silly Pea.

Silly Pea: (grunts)

Phillipe: They can make comic books?

Jean-Claude: But of course. Mr. Pea, you write stories, yes?

Mr. Pea: Do I write stories?

(Mr. Pea lifts up an entire dumpster and holds it over his head.)

Mr. Pea: Do I write stories?! Does this answer your question?

(Mr. Pea twirls the dumpster around, while Jean-Claude and Phillipe watch on.)

Jean-Claude: See? And Silly Pea, you draw, no?

(A clattering sound is heard, before Silly Pea eats an entire monster truck in one bite.)

Jean-Claude: (gasps) Silly Pea?

Silly Pea: (belches)

Jean-Claude: Perfect!

Phillipe: (sighs)

(Scene switches to back at Bob and Larry's home, where Bob is carrying a watering can, which he uses to water the shrubs outside of the house. Bob then comes back inside the house, where Larry is standing right in front of him.)

Larry: Hi.

Bob: (surprised) Aah! Larry, what are you doing?

Larry: Well, I asked every comic publisher to send me every comic ever made.

Bob: You're not waiting for it, are you?

Larry: Well...

(The doorbell rings, which excites Larry.)

Larry: You were saying?

(Larry opens the door to see a wagon piled high with lots of comics, which Larry is amazed to see.)

Larry: It works! It works! Every comic ever made!

Bob: Seems pretty small to be every comic.

Larry: Every comic ever made! And they're all mine!

Bob: Ahem.

Larry: I mean, uh... they're all ours, as I will now take them to the library.

(Scene switches to where Larry is now toting the wagon of comics to town.)

Larry: Every comic ever made! Can you beat that? I am loaded! But... not if I give them to the library.

(After looking at the comics, Larry is suddenly overcome with greed.)

Larry: These babies are mine! Where can I hide 'em?

(Larry looks up at one of the chairs standing at the corner of Pa Grape's Store as he approaches the chair. Scene switches to where Jean-Claude, Phillipe, Mr. Pea, and Silly Pea are working on the first comic.)

Mr. Pea: So, then, Gigantic Pea, who looks just like me, picks up the whole mountain, and everyone is, like, "Wow!" But he's like, "No big deal." You got that, Silly Pea?

(Silly Pea picks up the piece of paper that had been drawing on, showing that he just drew a bunch of smiley-faced peas.)

Jean-Claude: This is going so well.

(Bob comes by past the peas, before approaching Archibald Asparagus.)

Bob: Hey, Archibald, did Larry bring by the comics?

Archibald: Comics? No.

Bob: He didn't?

Archibald: No, we still need some sort of donation for the library.

Ichabeezer: I would like to make a donation. I would like to donate my money to fill the library with... instruction manuals!

(Everyone is shocked and horrified when Ichabeezer makes this announcement.)

Bob: We have to find Larry!

(Scene switches to on top of the chair, where Larry is looking over all of the comics that he is hoarding.)

Larry: Perfect, good, stack here, right, number, there, orderly, clean, yes, yes, perfect height, precious comics.

(Larry starts kissing the comics, as Bob's voice is heard.)

Bob: Larry?

Larry: You learned to talk? And you know my name?

Bob: No, Larry, it's me.

(Bob hops up on the chair with Larry.)

Larry: Bob! How'd you find us?

Bob: I looked up. Larry, why didn't you take these to the library?

Larry: 'Cause look at 'em! Every... comic... ever... made! I can read the entire history of Fruit Troopers and the Galactic Seeds.

(Larry then opens up the comic to read it before becoming shocked. The comic is shown to be blank.)

Larry: What? It's completely blank! No!

(Larry takes out another comic to see that it's also blank.)

Larry: No, this one too! No!

(Larry looks through more and more comics, but they're also blank, throwing one on Bob's head. Bob looks in the blank comic before finding something.)

Bob: Larry? Larry, look.

(Bob hands the blank comic to Larry, who reads what's in it.)

Larry: "I, Ichabeezer, have tricked you, Larry. You care about comics like I care about money. I will now fill the library with... instruction manuals"?! Then, he wrote "Ha Ha" over and over. (angry) I can't believe him! (gasps) I can't believe myself. He's right. I'm no better than Ichabeezer. I've become... Comic-abeezer!

(Larry goes over to Bob who is looking at the blank fake comics.)

Larry: Wow, still going with the "Ha Ha's", huh?

Bob: Yeah, here too. The whole book.

Larry: We gotta stop him.

(Scene switches to where Ichabeezer is standing in front of a crowd consisting of Pa Grape, Jimmy, Jerry, Madame Blueberry, Petunia, Mr. Lunt, and two corn people, while Archibald is standing next to him.)

Ichabeezer: You could've had a comic book section in the library, but Larry was hoarding all the comics.

All: (gasp)

Ichabeezer: Larry had every comic ever made, and he kept them all for himself. So now the library will be filled with... instruction manuals! Ha ha ha ha ha!

(Larry shows up.)

Larry: Wait! I'm still gonna get us those comics.

(Jean-Claude comes up to Larry while holding the comic that Mr. Pea and Silly Pea made.)

Jean-Claude: You can start with this.

Larry: "The Gigantic Adventures of Gigantic Pea, the Most Gigantic Pea in the Entire World. He's Gigantic. Written by Mr. Pea."

Mr. Pea: You better believe it.

Larry: "And drawn by Silly Pea." It's perfect.

(Larry runs up to Archibald and gives him the comic.)

Larry: Mayor Archibald, here's your first comic.

Archibald: Well, that's one comic book down.

Larry: Many more to go.

Ichabeezer: (grumbles)

Bob: Where are we gonna get the rest?

(A corn man and a broccoli man both wearing sunglasses come to town.)

Corn Man: Larry? Larry the Cucumber?

Larry: That's me.

Broccoli Man: We received your request for every comic book ever made.

Larry: You did?

Corn Man: Si. And your request is granted.

(A truck with piles of comic books comes up from behind, which everyone in town is shocked and amazed to see, except for Ichabeezer, who is sour that his plan has been foiled, as he leaves with his instruction manuals. Bob and Larry approach the back of the truck.)

Corn Man: These belong to you.

(Larry looks up in amazement at the comics, before facing the Corn Man and Broccoli Man.)

Larry: No. These belong to the library.

(Everyone cheers, happy that they have gotten the comics for the library, as the screen irises out, ending the episode.)