Smith: Hi, this is Ron Smith. I'm the director of 3-2-1 Penguins! And I'm here with the whole penguins crew.
Zidgel: Starting with Zidgel, of course. It's captain. Hello out there, one of my fans! Uh, where are the cameras? Aren't my fans going to able to see me?
Smith: No, they're going to watch the episode while we talk about it.
Zidgel: I think that will disappoint a lot of people out there, but it's probably best since it looks like Midgel just pulled out of bed.
Midgel: I've been up for hours. I guess I had been preening myself all morning. I've been working on getting some more power from the main thrusters on the ship. A ship's mechanic's job is never done.
Fidgel: Fidgel here, ship's scientist. Thanks for watching, everyone. My! The scenery is lovely, isn't it? Nothing like a nice scenic drive.
Smith: Aren't you going to say hello, Kevin?
Kevin: Oh, of course. Hello, Kevin!
Zidgel: You know, Ron, these shows need a little something. I'm thinking a big action sequence at the beginning starring, well, me of course. Doing daring stuff, lots of big close-ups, of me. Gotta give the fans what they want.
Smith: This is an ensemble cast, there really isn't a star.
Zidgel: I think my fan mail would say otherwise.
Smith: Everybody's fan mail comes to me first and we've gotten exactly two letters from your fans. By the way, your mother and hair-dresser both say hello.
Midgel: Hey, what kind of--what kind of car is that? Look at that.
Smith: I believe it's a 97 Generica.
Kevin: Pretty cool.
Fidgel: What sort of strange custom is that?
Smith: It's an expression of affection.
Midgel: Looks like something I learned in self-defense class back at the Academy.
Zidgel: Yes, I remember, the Orcan-Jell Twist.
Zidgel: I thought I was the cute one.
Kevin: I wonder where they're going.
Smith: I believe they said it was a family obligation.
Fidgel: Well, at least the children get to spend summer holiday with that charming woman!
Midgel: Ugh, he should get his emissions checked.
Midgel: Uh, they're back.
Zidgel: I-I I can't see anybody here. Oh.
Zidgel: What is that?
Kevin: I think it's one of those.
Zidgel: Looks like a Fill-Go Predicter.
Midgel: He's got that right.
Midgel: That too.
Kevin: Oh dear!
Fidgel: Gracious, that looks painful.
Zidgel: Looks like an episode of the W.W.F.
Kevin: What? What's happened to her hands?
Fidgel: Hmm, she must have gotten them stuck in the trans-species distal-regenerator.
Kevin: What's folly?
Midgel: Those clothes she's got on.
Zidgel: You know, that's what we wound up learning at the end. Oh, yeah.
Midgel: (imitates video game's music for a few seconds) I wonder if, uh, he remembered to conne--oh. It's dark, right?
Fidgel: Pie, a filled pastry, equal to 3.14. How do you determine the area of that tin plate? You have to use Pi! (laughs)
Midgel: Bangers and mash? Aren't they the bulks who run that driving instruction place?
Kevin: Yeah, they're right next to bubble and squeak, my tummy doctors.
Zidgel: Also a nickname you don't want to try more than once.
Fidgel: That was a difficult year for you at the Academy, wasn't it?
Zidgel: (sniffs) Yeah.
Kevin: Mmm, kidney pie.
Fidgel: Nothing like a
Kevin: Even better than a hot stack of pancreas.
Kevin: I expect that would take a while too.
Fidgel: There we are!
Zidgel: That was the first contact we've had since we landed on that shelf.
Midgel: We're naked.
Zidgel: I thought it was a little drafty.
Kevin: Those were those new uniforms we got from the emperor. The ones he wore going down the street that one time.
Zidgel: We seem to be missing our arms.
Kevin: (hums) She'd be sorry looking into that vacuum nozzle.
Midgel: Nobody says a word.
Zidgel: Yes, Midgel, just where did you get that nice dress?
Midgel: I have some range.
Smith: We tried everything to get that to stick. On glue.
Zidgel: Suction cups.
Kevin: Did she just say--?
Fidgel: Uh, um, it means "yes, yes" in French, Kevin.
Zidgel: He's defying the law of gravity!
Kevin: Must be those shoes.
Kevin: Oh my--!
Fidgel: Oh my nerve!
Zidgel: Flapping flying fish!
Kevin: That was close.
Smith: That was actually a 3-D computer generated effect. Uh, Michelle was never in any danger.
Fidgel: Ah, glad to hear that!
Midgel: That takes some of the magic from that quite a bit.
Smith: That's Hollywood for you.
Zidgel: Yeah, I was just going to say, that looks like the kind of stairs you have to pull shut from the--hey, wait a minute.
Kevin: I think someone left a lamp on in that box.
Midgel: Captain Manolo, Bonsai Master. We shall never forget you.
Fidgel: He was quite a man.
Midgel: He has used his last tri... tra.
Midgel: Yes, one of those torpedoes. He'd used the last one against the Catzune battle fleet of Atlantive on 12.
Fidgel: Look at that handsome man.
Fidgel: He's the one we were reassigned to after the Academy brought us here.
Zidgel: Oh, here they go again.
Midgel: It's trouble.
Midgel: That looks so clean and new compared to everything else in the attic.
Kevin: Well, there was a sheet on top.
Midgel: It's covered, right.
Fidgel: Oh dear, treating delicate science equipment in that manner.
Smith: It's actually made out of carpeting tubes.
Fidgel: Now really, that wasn't very nice.
Midgel: Not at all.
Kevin: Quite rude.
Fidgel: What is it? What is it?
Midgel: Ugh, she's pushing it.
Zidgel: Telescope hog.
Midgel: I still say I've lost weight since those were made.
Kevin: You are looking much fitter.
Midgel: Thank you.
Kevin: Much more fit.
Zidgel: (straining) I remember that! Oh, that was a tight squeeze!
Kevin: I just had that broccoli soup.
Fidgel: Yes, we all remember.
Smith: You know, uh, Jason had to keep eating popsicles to soothe his throat from all that yelling. Um, so I think he just finished the grape one.
Midgel: Those engines flood easily after a free fall like that. Plus, it's hard to control the ship once it starts floundering. They don't just fly themselves, you know.
Midgel: What did I just say?
Fidgel: A periodic table.
Zidgel: I'm quite fond of occasional furniture.
Zidgel: Here's my big moment.
Kevin: But you're only three inches tall.
Fidgel: That's a very flattering shot of you, Zidgel.
Zidgel: Having the right visuals support is the key to a successful presentation.
Zidgel: (laughs nervously)
Kevin: I don't get that.
Fidgel: I always have that thing set too high.
Kevin: Did we ever sort out which one it was?
Smith: Yes, we did.
Kevin: I thought so.
Midgel: Next episode.
Zidgel: Jason sure was a good sport about that, wasn't he?
Midgel: I'm telling you, that's what jinxed the landing.
Zidgel: What's that supposed to mean?
Midgel: That's what jinxed the landing.
Kevin: Maybe I should have let him try that on his own, first.
Kevin: Technically correct.
Midgel: Bonsiticus brinoe, from the Third Spiral Arm of the Outer Dishbag Galaxy.
Smith: Those were all those script rewrites.
Zidgel: I love this music.
Fidgel: I don't think I'll ever get used to that.
Smith: Zidgel, didn't you do a series of commercials for that hairspray?
Zidgel: It's the only brand to which I trust my feathers. A Quanucnit for penguins. They got the new maxi-boy formula now.
Midgel: I was gonna say, nice body.
Zidgel: How many takes did we do for that shot?
Kevin: I lost count, its not so bad after the first decimal or so.
Fidgel: Funny thing is that slot isn't a fax machine at all, it's where the ironing board comes out.
Kevin: We were low on spray starch too.
Zidgel: Alright, here we go. (sighs)
Zidgel: That's not true.
Zidgel: That's right.
Zidgel: Now that's acting!
Fidgel: I don't say.
Kevin: And painful.
Midgel: I still say we should have used a model for this.
Fidgel: Well at least the location the scout founded was a relatively soft planet.
Zidgel: Yeah, but we still have to get those cutting-in-line bug inoculations.
Kevin: With that big needle.
Zidgel: Yeah, a lot of good they did too.
Zidgel: Look at us here! We haven't even set flipper off the ship and we're acting like that!
Kevin: It's quite cozy in that can.
Kevin: Be fright-
Zidgel: Yeah, well, how-how was I supposed to know?
Midgel: The irony.
Fidgel: They were a difficult bunch to work with, weren't they?
Midgel: Mean planet, for the most part.
Fidgel: No one's ever talked nicely since stage combat.
Zidgel: There is another nice bit of acting.
Kevin: Got a bit of my glove on that one.
Zidgel: That one looks a bit like Herny Covacsk.
Smith: He's one of those guys who was easy to work with. I've worked with him before.
Kevin: Looked refreshing for a swan.
Zidgel: Where do you keep that thing?
Midgel: More computer generated special effects.
Smith: No, it's actually a cotton puff, a golf ball, and a piece of cereal sliding around on a place mat sprinkled with salt.
Zidgel: Doh, I can't believe they left that in.
Fidgel: Suddenly was a stroke of luck running into that cheery fellow might have taken us much longer to figure out what was wrong without somebody's help. Of course, we could have read the script.
Smith: That was a guy in the crew making that noise with his mouth.
Midgel:, Dah, dissoles.
Zidgel: He really hit that one on the head.
Fidgel: And now remember there's ice on the right.
Midgel: Right, and I said I'll go to the left.
Fidgel: Yeah, we never did figure out what went there.
Kevin: It would require a character to visit.
Kevin: It's a good spot right there, too.
Kevin: Got a bit rough.
Midgel: Good timing.
Zidgel: That's right.
Midgel: There it is, folly, again.
Kevin: We didn't know what it was, either.
Zidgel: Don't admit it, you were all thinking that same thing. Remember, there's no such thing as a stupid captain.
Fidgel: I believe that is, "There's no such thing as a stupid question."
Zidgel: That too.
Midgel: He has a thyroid problem.
Zidgel: Thank you, thank you very much. Thank you
Smith: Kevin, what do those dust balls actually taste like?
Kevin: Oh, that one was strawberry-flavored, but I'm just allergic to strawberries and dust.
Zidgel: I remember that guy! He spent the whole morning drinking coffee!
Fidgel: See? He's being patient. He's giving President No-I'm-The-President whatever time he needs to hurdle off into space.
Zidgel: Each one of those guys is smart as a wid.
Zidgel: And that guy has the perfect voice for public speaking.
Kevin: How did he do that with his voice?
Zidgel: I just love the way that whole thing just ties in.
Midgel: Full of sacron.
Kevin: But we didn't unpack.
Kevin: I didn't unpack.
Zidgel: Now why did you leave that in for?
Smith: The show was running short.
Midgel: Shows you, humanity, even though you're a penguin.
Zidgel: That makes me look like an idiot.
Midgel: We were doing a voice over too, that's the funny part. Yeah, the script.
Kevin: He wasn't wearing his glasses.
Zidgel: Talk about a good speaking voice.
Fidgel: Oh, I hate those loops. They make me nauseous.
Kevin: Oh, wait a minute.
Midgel: We're back in the attic, Kevin.
Zidgel: So, I don't get this. Was he daydreaming, or did all that really happen?
Fidgel: Yes, exactly.
Fidgel: Bugs? They were children.
Kevin: She's like that to every living creature.
Midgel: I like the elephant lamp.
Kevin: For the Republican.
Zidgel: Hey, have a little respect, guys, they're saying their prayers.
Fidgel: I smell a sequel!
Midgel: Me too, or is that the broccoli soup?
Zidgel: Okay, now let's do a so--no, no, no song this time.
Midgel: Why didn't we do a song?
Kevin: We were rehearsing.
Midgel: Should have done a song.
Fidgel: Look at all the pretty names.
Kevin: I like the pretty planets.
- The "new uniforms" that Kevin referred to are a reference to "The Emperor's New Clothes."