This is the episode transcript for Where's God When I'm S-Scared?.
Transcript[]
Opening Countertop[]
(We open with our hosts of the series Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber sitting on the countertop)
Bob: Hi, kids, and welcome to VeggieTales. I'm Bob the Tomato...
Larry: And I'm Larry the Cucumber.
Bob: And we're here to answer your questions.
Larry: That's right!
(Bob moves to a giant piece of paper)
Bob: Now today, we got a letter from Lucy Anderson of Phoenix, Arizona, who writes:
Lucy Anderson: (V.O.) "Dear Bob and Larry, I am six years old. Sometimes, I think that there are monsters in my closet. That makes me real scared. Can you help me?"
Larry: Ooh. I remember once I thought there were monsters in my closet!
Bob: Yeah? Well, what happened, Larry?
Larry: Well, it turned out that they weren't really monsters at all. Just my fluffy bunny slippers! And they're not so scary... just kind of squishy.
Bob: Oh I see. Well Lucy Anderson, first check to see if it's just your slippers, and then watch this story about when Junior Asparagus got a little bit scared.
Tales From the Crisper*[]
(Fade to a black-and-white scene in a mad scientist's laboratory. We see two shadows moving around on the wall)
Mad Scientist's Assistant: It can't be done. I don't believe you can do it.
Mad Scientist: Well, then stand back and behold as I throw this switch! (beat) It's alive! ALIVE! (evil laughter) Stand!
Mad Scientist's Assistant: Oh, my goodness. Look how big it is!
Mad Scientist: Speak!
(We hear a loud groaning noise)
Mad Scientist: Walk to me! No, this way!
Mad Scientist's Assistant: I'll be going...
Mad Scientist: Frankencelery, where are you going? Come back here!
(The camera slowly pans out as Frankencelery bursts through the laboratory's door and goes on a rampage. A woman is heard screaming)
Mad Scientist: No, don't go near that door! Frankencelery, come back! Stay away from those villagers!
(As the camera moves away, we see that we are actually looking at the TV screen in the Asparagus family's living room. Junior Asparagus is sitting there, watching the TV. He is smiling at first, but his expression soon shifts to one of fear)
Man on TV: Oh, no, no, no! Hold on! Don't do it, don't do it! Oh, no, no, no! No! OUCH!
Lisa Asparagus: Junior? (peeks out from the kitchen) It's time for bed.
Junior: Just four more minutes.
Lisa Asparagus: That's what you said four minutes ago. Let's skedaddle up those stairs, your father will be up in a minute to tuck you in. (Junior goes to the stairs) Besides, I think this show might be a little too scary for you.
Junior: It's not too scary. I.. I like it. (climbing the stairs) Yeah, I'm not scared.
(He looks at his family picture and smiles. Suddenly, he imagines his family turning into mad monsters with bolts jutting out of their necks. Junior gets scared and runs into his room. Fades to black then fades to Junior lying in bed.)
Junior: I'm not scared. It was just monsters... (the house begins to shake) all around me... big growly monsters...
(Bob and Larry suddenly fall right out the ceiling; Bob lands safely on the floor next to Junior's bed, while Larry crashes into the toy chest. Junior jumps out of bed in fright.)
Junior: AAAH!!! Who are you?!
Bob: I'm Bob! I'm a tomato and I'm here to help you. (Larry starts struggling around in the toy chest as Junior watches in horror)
Junior: There's something in my toy chest! It's a monster... It's a big scary lizard... It's... It's a... (Larry pops out with a baby bonnet on his head) Baby pickle?
Bob: Uh, it's a cucumber.
Junior: Oh.
Larry: Where is everybody? (falls over)
Bob: Over here Larry! Ahem... (to Junior) We couldn't help but notice that you were just a little bit frightened so we thought we'd drop in and help.
Larry: Yeah! Fear not, for behold: I bring you good tidings and great joy which shall be unto all people, for unto you...
Bob: Ahem! Wrong story, Larry.
Larry: Oh, sorry. (he smiles)
Junior: Well I wasn't really scared, you know. It was just a movie with a big, scary monster... But I'm five years old now, so I can handle it.
Bob: Oh, so you weren't scared?
Junior: Nope, I wasn't scared.
Bob: (looking at Larry suspiciously) He wasn't scared?
Larry: No, not scared a bit.
Junior: Well, maybe just a little bit.
Bob: Oh, just a little bit scared?
Larry: Oh, a little bit.
Junior: But not too scared.
(Bob and Larry both mumble something to each other)
Junior: Why? How can you guys help me? I mean... if I was scared...
Bob: Oh, we were just gonna sing you a little song, that's all. But since you weren't even scared, I guess we'll just be on our way. (Junior looks surprised)
Larry: Yup! See you later!
Junior: No wait! I guess maybe a little song might be nice... well, since you're in the neighborhood.
Bob: Well, if you weren't scared, then there's really no reason, so I guess we'll just be going now.
Junior: (gets angry) Sing the song!!
Bob: Okay, here it goes.
(The camera turns on Junior and the lights dim. Two spotlights shine on Junior and Bob.)
Bob: (singing) You were lying in your bed.
You were feeling kind of sleepy...
But you couldn't close your eyes
because the room was getting creepy!
(Junior looks around the room)
Larry: Were those eyeballs in the closet? (Three pairs of eyeballs pop out out Junior's closet.)
Was that Godzilla in the hall?
Bob: There was something big and hairy casting shadows on the wall.
(Junior turns around and sees a monstrous shadow and looks panicked.)
Bob: Now your heart is beating like a drum,
your skin is getting clammy...
(At the closet door, several tiny monsters jump out and bounce into the dresser drawers.)
Bob: There's a hundred tiny monsters jumping right into your jammies.
(Junior looks terrified)
Bob: (speaking) What are you gonna do?
Junior: I’m going to call the police!
Bob: No. You don’t need to do anything!
Junior: What? Why?
Bob: Because... (singing again) God is bigger than the boogie man!
He’s bigger than Godzilla or the monsters on T.V,
Oh, God is bigger than the boogie man,
and He’s watching out for you and me! (the song ends) Get it?
Junior: Um... Well… I… Hmm, well, no.
Bob: Oh. You see, you don’t have to be afraid, because God is the biggest!
Junior: What? Is He bigger than King Kong? Because Kong's a really big monkey and he’s kinda scary.
Bob: Next to God, Junior, King Kong would look like an itty-bitty bug.
Junior: Really?
Bob: Mmm-hmm.
Junior: Well, is He bigger than the slime monster? Cause he’s the biggest monster of them all!
Larry: Compared to God, the slime monster is like a teeny little cornflake!
Junior: Yeah, but the slime monster can squirt slime out of his ears. Can God squirt slime out of His ears?!
Bob: (clears throat) Come over here, Junior.
(Bob Larry and Junior hop towards the window)
Bob: What do you see up there?
Junior: My curtains.
Bob: No, out the window. Up in the sky.
(Junior looks out the window at the starry sky)
Junior: I see lots of stars.
Larry: God made all the stars outta nothing. He just went... (blows a raspberry) and there they were.
Junior: No way!
Bob: That’s right. And He also made the sun and the moon, and even the earth we’re living on right now.
Junior: Wow! Slime Monster couldn’t do that. Even if he tried, he'd get everything really sticky!
Bob: But do you know what else God made?
Junior: What?
Larry: He made all the plants and animals, and people too.
Junior: Wow!
Bob: And that’s why we don’t have to be afraid.
Junior: Huh?
Bob: You see, everything God makes is very special to Him. He made all the little kids and He loves them very much. And because He loves them, He takes extra good care of them. So we don’t need to be afraid because God is always looking out for us!
Junior: Oh, I get it. So you’re saying God’s the biggest of them all, and He’s on my team!
Bob: That’s right! Oh, by the way, there’s someone else who wants to meet you.
(Frankencelery suddenly drops from the ceiling)
Junior: AAAHHH!!! IT'S FRANKENCELERY!!! (hides in his toy chest)
Frankencelery: Ah, well, actually my name is Phil Winklestein and I’m an actor from Toledo.
Junior: (peeking out from the toy chest) What?!
Frankencelery: Well, I was just pretending to be Frankencelery in that TV show. Um, that was my job. And really I’m just a regular guy, and I wouldn’t hurt anybody.
Junior: Oh, I get it! (singing) So when I’m lying in my bed…
and the furniture starts creeping…
I’ll just laugh and say “Hey, cut that out!”
and get back to my sleeping
Cause I know that God’s the biggest,
and He’s watching all the while.
So when I get scared, I’ll think of Him
and close my eyes and smile!
All: God is bigger than the boogie man!
He’s bigger than Godzilla or the Monsters on TV.
Oh, God is bigger than the boogie man,
And He’s watching out for you and me!
Tiny Monster 1: So, are you frightened?
Junior: No, not really.
Tiny Monster 2: Are you worried?
Junior: Not a bit!
I know whatever’s gonna happen,
that God can handle it.
Frankencelery: I’m sorry that I scared you when you saw me on TV.
Junior: Well, that’s okay,
cause now I know that God is taking care of me!
All: God is bigger than the boogie man!
He’s bigger than Godzilla or the Monsters on TV.
Oh God is bigger than the boogie man,
And He’s watching out for you and me!
Junior: (speaking) One more time!
All: God is bigger than the boogie man.
He’s bigger than Godzilla or the Monsters on TV.
Oh, God is bigger than the boogie man
And He’s watching out for you and me.
He’s watching out for you and me!
Tiny Monsters: Watching… Watching… Watching…
Junior: Out for you and me! (speaking) Yeah!
(Bob, Larry, the tiny monsters and Frankencelery suddenly disappear. Mike Asparagus comes into the room)
Mike Asparagus: Junior, what’s all that racket in here?
Junior: Well, I was just singing.
Mike Asparagus: Well, your mother and I think that show was a little too scary for you.
Junior: Yeah, well, maybe, but you know Frankencelery is really a guy named Phil from Toledo. And he’s really not scary at all. And besides, God is bigger than any of them, and even though He doesn’t squirt slime out of His ears, He made the whole universe! And He’s taking good care of me too.
Mike Asparagus: Um… well… you’re right. We don’t have to worry about things because God is taking care of us. I do think we should be a little more careful about what we watch on television. And you know what? It’s okay to tell us if you’re really scared.
Junior: Okay. I guess you’re right.
Mike Asparagus: Sounds like you’ve been doing some good thinking. But it’s time to shut the thinker down now and get some sleep.
Junior: Okay.
Mike Asparagus: I love you little mister.
Junior: I love you big mister.
Mike Asparagus: I’ll see you in the morning.
Junior: Alright.
Junior: (Singing) God is bigger than the (YAWN) boogie man. (Snoring)
(The ending part of God is Bigger plays. Then fades to black)
The Water Buffalo Song[]
(Title card for the silly song fades in. It shows Larry singing and a music stand in front of him. The background is mostly white, with music notes surrounding.)
Announcer: And now it's time for “Silly Songs with Larry,” the part of the show when Larry comes out and sings a silly song. So without further ado, “Silly Songs with Larry.”
(Larry hops out with an oversized cowboy hat.)
Larry: The Water Buffalo Song:
(Music kicks in and the singing kicks in.)
Larry: (singing) Everybody's got a water buffalo.
Yours is fast but mine is slow.
Oh, where do you get them? I don't know.
But everybody's got a water buffalo-oo-ooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh.
I took my buffalo to the store;
Got his head stuck in the door.
Spilled some Lima beans on the floor;
Oh, everybody's got a-
(Archibald Asparagus hops in annoyed and angered, interrupting the song.)
Archibald: Stop it! Stop! Stop right this instant! What do you think you're doing? You can't say everyone's got a water buffalo when everyone does not have a water buffalo! We're going to get nasty letters saying, "Where's my water buffalo? Why don't I have a water buffalo?" And are you prepared to deal with that? I don't think so. Just stop being so silly!
(Archibald hops off and Larry looks at the camera and the silly song title card cuts in.)
Announcer: This has been “Silly Songs with Larry.” Tune in next time to hear Larry sing:
Larry: Everybody's got a baby kangaroo.
Yours is pink but mine is blue.
Her’s was small, but-
Archibald: (screaming) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
(Archibald charges in and tackles Larry off-screen. Title card fades away and thus ending the silly song skit.)
Daniel and the Lions Den[]
(Daniel and the Lion's Den starts up, Larry is Daniel and Archibald is King Darius with a narrator introducing the story with a camera going from the sea over the lands into the city of Babylon.)
Narrator: Long, long ago, in a far away land, there lived a young man named Daniel. When Daniel was a boy, he was taken from his home in Judah to live in a city called Babylon, where he went to school in the palace of the Babylonian king. Daniel missed his home very much. And every day he prayed that God would take care of his family, and his friends, and look after him, too. God heard his prayers, and helped Daniel become wise as he grew older, until everyone in the palace knew of his wisdom. Then one night, while Babylon was sleeping, the king had a dream.
(Camera cuts to Darius' palace with the first appearance of the Scallions as Darius' wisemen as their presence is required. Mozart-esque music starts up and the Scallions and Darius' maidens, stand up straight. Darius bursts the doors open and begins singing.)
Darius: (singing) I am King Darius.
I've had a dream.
And now I'm feeling rather frightened,
and I wish someone would tell me what it means.
Scallion 1: We are your wisemen.
Yes, that is true.
And though we're using all our wisdom,
we're afraid we can't explain your dream to you.
Darius: (outraged) What?!?
Scallion 3: But there is one who is wiser still,
and Daniel is his name.
So before you take another sleeping pill,
perhaps he can explain.
(Camera turns to a door behind the scallions and cuts closer to the door and Daniel runs into the camera and pops out and smiles at everyone.)
Daniel: My name is Daniel.
That much is true.
But it is God who gives me wisdom,
and through me He will explain your dreams to you.
(Camera cuts to the maids looking curiously at Daniel.)
Maid 1: His name is Daniel.
That’s what he said.
But when he talks about this “God” of his,
I think he's kinda loony in the head. I do.
Narrator: (talking) Well, Daniel was able to explain the king's dream, and this made the king very happy.
King Darius: (back to singing) Daniel, you have enlightened me!
Your job, I will expand.
From now on, I want you to sit right beside me
as the second-in-command!
(Music ends with Darius and Daniel hopping out of court with the Scallions jealous.)
Narrator: This was very good news for Daniel, but very bad news for the wisemen. You see, each one of them wanted to be second-in-command. But now that Daniel got the job, the wisemen would have to do whatever he said. This made the wisemen very unhappy, and they immediately started thinking of ways to get rid of Daniel.
(The music for the next song kicks in and the scallions begin to dance and sing.)
All: Oh, no! What we gonna do?
The king likes Daniel more than me and you.
Oh, no! What we gonna do?
We gotta get him out of here.
Oh, no! What we gonna do?
The king likes Daniel more than me and you.
Oh, no! What we gonna do? We gotta get him out of here.
Scallion 2 and 3: (singing the next verse while Scallion 1 repeats the first one) We could throw him in the dungeon,
we could let him rot in jail.
We could drag him to the ocean,
have him eaten by a whale.
Scallion 1: We could throw him in the Tigris, let him float a while,
then we'll sit back and watch him meet a hungry crocodile.
Or we'll put him on a camel's back and send him of to Ur,
with a cowboy hat without a brim, a boot without a spur.
Or we can give him jelly doughnuts, take them all away,
or we can fill his ears with cheese balls and his nostrils with sorbet.
We can use him as a footstool or a table to play Scrabble on,
then tie him up and beat him up and throw him out of Babylon!
Scallion 2: (speaking) Or…
(Camera cuts to an Ariel view of one Scallion 2 whispering his plan and the others listening. Camera cuts to the scallions giving their opinions of Scallion 2's idea.)
Scallion 1: I like it!
Scallion 3: It's sneaky!
Scallion 1: And it just…
Scallion 3: Might…
Scallion 2: Work!
All Scallions: (back to singing) We could use him as a footstool or a table to play Scrabble on,
then tie him up and beat him up and throw him out of Babylon!
(The music goes on with the scallions leaving Darius' court and the music ends with the doors slamming shut. Camera cuts to an outside view of Darius's court with the narrator talking into the inside if the court.)
Narrator: The very next morning, the wisemen appeared before King Darius to try and trap Daniel with their scheme.
Darius: You wanted to see me?
Scallion 1: Ahem. (singing) We've got some news, good king Darius.
We fear your position is precarious.
There are some people here in Babylon who won't give you your due.
They’d rather bow to other men.
Darius: Can this be so?
Scallion 2: 'Tis true.
Darius: (looking worried) Oh, dear.
Scallion: We brought a solution of our own design.
(pulls out a contract) If you'll just sign this paper on the dotted line.
It's an edict stating most concisely what we're all to do.
We must bow our heads or bend our knees before no one, but you.
Darius: I see. Ahem. (singing) Just one more time, now, let's see if I got this straight.
A law to prove once and for all that I am great.
If I'm the king then no one must doubt my full supremacy.
So from this day forth my citizens will pray to only... …me! (speaking) Yes! But what if they don't?
Scallion 1: If they don't obey, any citizen,
will be thrown into the lion's den. (As the camera zooms in, the lighting changes to a red tint.)
Darius: (spoken) Oh! Yes? Well, I guess that would do it! All right then, good work, men! Ta-ta!
Female voice: (singing) So the law was passed, the deed was done.
Daniel's troubles have just begun.
(Camera shows Babylon through a window and pulls into Daniel's house who we see praying to God.)
Narrator: Everyone in Babylon heard about the new law, including Daniel. But Daniel also knew God's law, and God told him that he should only pray to God. And so the next day, just like every other day, Daniel prayed and thanked God for the sunshine and for all his friends. He also thanked God for giving him the courage to do what was right, even when he knew it could get him in trouble.
Daniel: (opens one eye after the narrator talks) Did you say trouble?
(The Scallions open the door and catch Daniel in the act.)
Scallion 1: Ah-ha!
(The Scallions approach Daniel. Scene switches to Daniel now being carried by the Scallions.)
Daniel: So you guys are wisemen? Well that's pretty cool. I mean, have you always been wise, or did you have to go to school for that? Were you serious about that cheese ball thing? Hey I can see my house from here.
(The Scallions approach the Lions' Den, as the sound of a lion's roar is heard.)
Scallion 1: Daniel, because you violated section 4219-2r9-4000-6.1-7.b, of the code of Babylon, forbidding prayer to anyone but King Darius, you are hereby sentenced to be consumed by the lions. Goodbye.
Daniel: Don't I get a phone (They throw him into the lions' den.) caaaaalllllll?!
(The Scallions throw Daniel into the Lions' Den and he lands face first.)
Scallion 2: Hey Daniel! You're sure gonna have fun down there! We're not "lion". (laughing)
Scallion 3: Uh yeah! You better be "lion" down... Um... 'cuz those lions are gonna...um..."lie"..."on" you! Ha ha!
Scallion 2: What? Mine was funny. Yours was...goofy. Lions are gonna ly-on you?! They're gonna eat him! They're not gonna ly-on him.
Scallion 3: Well, well maybe they're gonna lie on him, then eat him. Or one will lie on him while another one, maybe eats him. Or, well maybe one will sit on him...
Scallion 2: What? Like the lions are gonna cooperate? Like one's gonna lie on him and say, "Hey, you eat him, I'll lie on him"? Come on, we're the ones that are ly-in, not the lions.
(The Scallions push a rock over the den, making it completely dark.)
Daniel: Oh, it's not so scary down here! A little musty, not so scary!
(A pair of lion eyes open. As they growl, Daniel backs up and more lions appear.)
Daniel: (in the tune of Oh, No! What We Gonna Do?) Oh, no! What am I gonna do? It looks like I'm gonna... end up as lion's stew.
(A bright light appears behind Daniel.)
Female voice: (singing) Don't cry, Daniel...
Fear not, Daniel...
don't you know you're not alone?
There is One who is watching you.
He listens when you pray.
And though it seems this time you won't get through,
God has made a way.
(The lions become more docile.)
Narrator: Even though he still didn't know what to expect, Daniel felt better, when he remembered that God was taking care of him, even in the Lion's Den.
(The Scallions are shown celebrating, while King Darius is saddened.)
Narrator: Elsewhere in the Kingdom, the wisemen were busy congratulating themselves for being so clever. While the King, believing that he lost a good friend, decided the only thing that he can do is to pray that Daniel's God would protect him.
(King Darius & the Scallions going to the Lion's Den the next morning)
Narrator: The next morning, everyone ran down to the Lion's Den to see what was left of Daniel.
Darius: It's hopeless, no one can survive a night with those lions.
Daniel: (Off-screen) Hello!
Darius: Did you hear something?
Daniel: (Off-screen) Hello!!
(Darius looks into the entrance of the Lion's Den)
Darius: Daniel, is that you?
Daniel: (Off-screen) Oh yeah, I'll be right up. I just have to say good bye to my new friends.
Darius: It's... it's impossible!
Scallion 1: Yes, it is.
(Daniel comes up out of the Lions' Den.)
Daniel: Well, hello everybody. (turns back to the lion's den) See you guys later. Thanks for the pizza!
Scallion 1: They had pizza?
Darius: Why, it's a miracle! (singing) Surely your God is above all men.
Now I understand!
For even at the bottom of the Lion's Den,
you were in His hand. (speaking) I've got it, a new law! From this day forth, everyone will pray only to Daniel's God, no more of this silly praying to me business. But who's idea was that anyway? Oh, oh yes, I remember.
Scallion 1: I hear they're looking for wisemen down in Egypt. Been fun, got to go now!
Scallion 2: Yeah, see ya!
Darius: Where do you think you're going? Come back here, you scoundrels! You scallywags! Not so fast! Stop! I'm the King, you must stop now! Come back here! Stop it!
Daniel: Hey guys, come back! There's some pizza left!
(As the story ends, King Darius and Daniel chase the wisemen as Darius orders them to stop.)
Closing Countertop[]
(Camera fades back to the kitchen counter with Bob & Larry on the countertop)
Bob: Wow! That was really neat how God protected Daniel from those lions. (To Larry) And you did a very good job.
Larry: Why thank you, it was my finest hour.
Bob: We're over here by QWERTY the computer to talk about what we've learned today. (While he's talking they hop to him)
(The What Have We Learned song begins)
Singers: And so what we have learned applies to our lives today,
and God has a lot to say in His book.
Bob: A- as I was saying we're...
(The second half plays)
Singers: You see you know that God's word is for everyone,
and now that our song is done, we'll take a look.
Bob: Ahem! Well, Junior Asparagus learned that God is bigger anything in the whole world, and because God loves us so much, He's always looking out for us, so we don't have to be afraid.
Larry: Yep. And in the Bible, Daniel learned that God was taking care of him, even down there with those big scary lions.
Bob: That's right! Now let's see if QWERTY has a verse for us today.
Larry: Okay.
(QWERTY has a recipe of Yummy Meatloaf.)
Bob: One pound ground beef, three slices of... QWERTY, this is a recipe for meatloaf, that's not a verse! (to the camera) Sorry about that.
(QWERTY brings up the verse Isaiah 41:10)
Bob: Okay, here we go. And God said in Isaiah 41:10: "So do not fear, for I am with you". Hmm. So the next time you get scared, just remember that verse. and tonight, before you go to sleep, why don't you pray with your Mom or Dad, and thank God for always looking out for you.
Larry: Yeah, that's a good idea.
Bob: Well, that's all for now, until next time. Remember, God made you special, and He loves you very much. Bye!
Larry: Bye!
(End of transcript)
(*For the 1993 original transcript of Tales From the Crisper, click here)